It's Complicated
Love is not what we like to think it is. Since we were small
children, we are inclined to believe that love is something so perfect that it
rescues you from all of the bad things in your life and you live the rest of
your life walking through a bed of roses. This is a lie that unravels most
marriages when the “honeymoon” phase wears off. We were taught that your
soulmate always makes you smile and if they ever make you right you have a
reason to divorce them. Why? Because our perception of love is based on a false
reality that movies and television have sold to us.
Love is selfless and not self-serving. It doesn’t allow
anyone to treat you poorly because that doesn’t serve them either. Until you
know the true purpose of something you cannot properly utilize it. That is what
the world is faced with when it comes to love and marriage.
Genesis 2:24 This explains why a man leaves his father and
mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one
True love is a messy risk with no guarantees. You can get hurt,
you can be rejected, you may be disappointed, and you can get your heart
broken. Love will cause you to abandon everything that’s familiar to you and
pursue it even when it doesn’t make sense to everyone around you. It doesn’t
make you crazy, but it does challenge the selfish desires we all have.
The world’s definition of love only reflects what it does
for you but does a very poor job if showing what you will do for it. Love
doesn’t demand anything from you because the essence of love is not about
receiving but giving. A marriage can’t survive without you giving everything
you have. I don’t mean just your material possessions, but your heart, mind,
body, soul, and secret things you’ve never shared with anyone else. It gives
you everything you have because it trusts that who you give your love to won’t
hurt, reject, or disappoint you.
But think about the love God gave us and the commitment He
made to us for an eternity. His love for us was never contingent on what we
gave to Him. Love is messy and God knew that, that’s why He chose to love a
people who would never know how to love Him in return. He gave us perfection
and human nature couldn’t handle it. We rebelled against the thing we all say
we desire.
You can’t measure your soulmate against a scale that history
has proven we don’t desire. Divorce doesn’t have to be an option because it
doesn’t serve you. What you should be asking yourself is are you serving it? I
learned that in the most imperfect times in our marriage that my desire to
serve my husband increased. Not because I’m perfect but because I’ve decided to
serve God.
Serving your spouse with the intention to receive anything
in return voids the power of love. You cannot seek to serve yourself and expect
for what you call “love” to clean up the mess. The beauty of love is that it
can take those heartbreaks and shortcomings and mend together something that
selfishness broke. When your feelings get hurt, don’t be so quick to point the
finger and call your attorney. Examine your heart and the ideals you’ve held on
to.
With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott
Comments
Post a Comment