What Are You Waiting For?

You know the feeling. You arrive at the Driver’s License office and you approach the counter telling them what you need. They hand you the paperwork you need to complete and you are astounded by the amount of information you need to give them, as if they can’t look up the information and get everything they need. Hesitantly, you take the paperwork and comb through it. Some things you need to read before you sign them but you soon realize that it’s the same paperwork you fill out every time. Finally….finally you’ve finished the paperwork, after almost an hour, and jump back in line to approach the counter. You make it to the counter thinking that you’ve done everything you need to do get what you came there for. The lady behind the counter slowly looks through your paperwork, nodding her head at each page. You are so excited because it looks like you’ve fulfilled all of the requirements. Then the lady hands you a number, and before you can even ask what you’re thinking, and she says “take this number and WAIT until you’re called”. After you’ve calmed down, you sit down and join the rest of the “waiters” that are not so patiently waiting. And you watch as each person is called up before you, even those people who came in after you or who didn’t complete their paperwork out properly the first time around. And, before you know it, you are the only person left waiting. Even the lady behind the counter is now gone. It’s just you, waiting for your name to be called.

Doesn’t that scenario sound frustrating? How many times have you found yourself waiting, waiting, and waiting some more? Even though you’ve followed all of the instructions and done of the things that God has instructed you to do, you’re still waiting. John 14:23 Jesus replied, "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.

All the while you watch other women disobey God, have hard hearts, flaunting their pregnancies in your face (that’s the story you tell yourself). But God convicts the way you celebrate them in what you believe you deserve. He shows you your heart because that’s what’s most important in your relationship with Him.

You love God, so you wait. You love God, so you’re obedient. You love God, so you allow Him to be who He says He is. All the while, people are in the background asking, “What are you waiting for?” We live in a culture that consistently takes matters into their own hands, even Believers are “making things happen” instead of waiting on God. And there you are, looking silly, waiting on God. If you’re like me on this journey to fertility, you realize that waiting can seem like punishment but recently my eyes were opened to wait I’m actually waiting on.

I learned that in the original language of certain scriptures, when the word “wait” was used it wasn’t passive or without motion. It was extremely active, but active in a sense of purpose. The words translated to “wait” in English actually mean “twist, stretch, strengthen, and entwine”! HOLD UP. HOLD UP. HOLD UP. When I read this, I thought to myself about what I’ve actually been waiting for and how I’ve been waiting for it.

I’m not waiting to have a baby or waiting for God to do something. I’m allowing Him to do something in me. By waiting, I’ve signed up for the Lord to twist me, stretch me, strengthen me, and entwine me. My waiting has opened the door for God to continue to form in me those things that make me more like Him. HA! If we are so focused on what we’re waiting for we might miss out on the entwining with the Lord. Of being with Him and being more like Him. So many of us are praying for things as if those are the prizes, all the while we are overlooking the true prize that is going on inside of us.

Recently, I have been asking myself what does my relationship with Christ mean if I NEVER have a baby. It has taken 5 years to be brave enough to ask myself that question and to be honest enough with God to truly answer it. Will I forsake all of the twisting, stretching, strengthening, and entwining that have happened because a child was not added to our family? Will I give up on God after He has spent this time giving me a heart that could handle His answer? Is my focus only on WHAT I’m waiting for or on WHO God is in the waiting?

Don’t get me wrong, my desire is to have a child of my own. I don’t think that will ever change. But what has changed is my joy in whatever God does or doesn’t do. I am enjoying the twisting of my outlook, the stretching of my perspective, the strengthening of my love, and the entwining with the truth of God. 

With All My Love,
 Mrs. Truscott