Uninhabitable

Over the past few weeks, if you live in America you know that this country has been hammered with hurricanes and tropical storms that have left families with lost loved ones, totaled vehicles, and uninhabitable homes. The interesting thing about the uninhabitable homes is that some of the damage is not apparent to the naked eye. Sometimes you have to dig past the surface to see how extensive the damage is and if it can be repaired.

               As we’ve begun the process to prepare for IVF, I underwent an MRI to determine what was causing some other reproductive issues I was experiencing. As most of the readers know, this has been a road of ups, downs, twists, turns, and everything else in between. Some of you also know how much of a faith move it was for us to even make the decision to pursue this route. Not because IVF is a bad decision but because we wanted to ensure we were in the will of God for our lives. I have been known, in the past, to check things off my list before ensuring that was on God’s list for our lives. I didn’t want us to take this step outside of the will of God.

               So, as my doctor read the results of my MRI to me I had to remind myself that my hope is not in IVF, it is in the sovereignty of my Savior. I held my breath as he said that not only were my tubes disconnected, which I already knew, but also that I have a condition that makes IVF far from a “sure thing”. While I know the statistics associate with IVF, adding more issues on top of that just increased our chances of not having a successful transfer. Basically, this condition was eventually going to make my womb uninhabitable for children.

               But the most amazing thing happened during the course of that conversation. Instead of feeling discouraged in that moment, like I have in so many other moments, I sensed the peace and courage that can only come from the Holy Spirit. God hasn’t led us to this process because it’s a sure thing. He led us here so that we could both learn to trust Him differently, and deeper. For so long, fear paralyzed me from even trying to find out what else I might be dealing with. Oh, but now, I can see God’s love surrounding us.

               My doctor didn’t call me to tell me that this condition was a reason to not move forward. He called to tell me that in spite of the condition we should proceed. And I thought about how God didn’t decide to overlook us because of the condition we were in. He still chose us in spite of the uninhabitable condition we were in. We weren’t and won’t ever be perfect, but He still chooses to deposit His spirit within us. He still chooses to allow us to give birth to purpose in all things, and through all things.

               Conditions for you may not be ideal but roses can still grow from concrete and God’s promises WILL STILL find you. Believe me, I know that giving up may seem the easiest but it’s in the impossible, uninhabitable things that you need God the most. And the most amazing thing of all is that He meets you right where that need is.

With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott