Beauty is Her Name

God definitely has a sense of humor because He will position you in a place where you think you are helping someone else by being obedient but He is really just leading you there so you can hear Him better. I frequently think about how many people benefit from parts of my testimony and I am grateful for God using me in the way that He does. It’s not because I want all of the attention but I just want to live a life that reflects how good God really is. But the past few months have given me so many opportunities to share parts of my story that I had not previously shared before and I have grown so much as a result of letting God take center stage.

But what I didn’t expect to happen was for me to be encouraged and pruned all while sharing who God has been to me. When I agreed to implement the “Love Yourself Challenge” for Wives in Waiting this month, I had no idea what God was planning to do in ME.  I have never considered myself beautiful, gorgeous, or even pretty. Those just weren’t words I would use to describe myself. I preferred words like “smart, responsible, and loyal” and I never took the time to figure out why, until now. The former words make me feel uncomfortable because those are not characteristics that I can control, those are things based on the opinions of people and that can always change. I can control (or I’d like to think I can) how educated I am, how responsible I am, and how loyal I will be. But lately, God keeps bringing those words up in other’s descriptions of me and I had to go to Him to see why I continue to feel so awkward when my name shares a space with these words.

Beauty: a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight.

What were people seeing in me that kept bringing THIS word to their lips? My hair hadn’t changed, I still wasn’t wearing makeup very often, and I didn’t have any new clothes. As I stared at myself in the mirror to try to see what they were seeing, this is what I began to study:

Acts 3:1-11
1 Peter and John went to the Temple one afternoon to take part in the three o’clock prayer service. 2 As they approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money.

4 Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, “Look at us!” 5 The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money. 6 But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!”

7 Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man’s feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened. 8 He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them.

9 All the people saw him walking and heard him praising God. 10 When they realized he was the lame beggar they had seen so often at the Beautiful Gate, they were absolutely astounded! 11 They all rushed out in amazement to Solomon’s Colonnade, where the man was holding tightly to Peter and John.
I am finally WALKING in the fullness of who God created me to be. I have never been so confident in the woman God says I am, not because of me but because I see so much purpose in my full surrender to Him and His will. I don’t have the energy to fight Him anymore and I don’t want to.

For so long, I have hung out around beautiful people and things never realizing the beauty of what God placed inside of me. My brokenness was my focus because I never wanted to get in God’s way. I didn’t take the time to embrace the beauty that God gave me. It was hard for me to hear because I wanted to admire the gate called Beautiful never wanted to hear myself called beautiful. You see, my past was filled with vanity and conceit as a cover up for an ugly heart. When someone says beautiful, my mind tells me that I have exalted myself higher than I should be. People shouldn’t see me, they should only see God. It has taken this challenge for me to see that the reflection of the Beautiful Gate is showing up in my healing, restoration, and wholeness and as much as I want to hide behind the gate I can no longer do that.

God always has a way of reminding us that we are constantly growing in Him and to never get comfortable in one space. I am not perfect and won’t be until Christ returns for me but I can take joy that who I used to be is dying each day and I am enjoying becoming a beautiful bride of Christ. His beauty is all I long for.

With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott