Forgive? For What?

Forgiveness is not something anyone deserves; it’s simply what you owe God.

Ephesians 4:31-32 31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

I frequently hear people say that forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for you. While I agree with that statement, I don’t think that should be our motivation to forgive. Forgiveness shows God that you are attempting to love like Him. It reflects your ability to die to yourself daily which consistently sheds the layers of you to reveal more of Him. Many times we try to see how we can selfishly benefit from being obedient to God. When you don’t look at God as the lover of your soul, it’s difficult to make a sacrifice that is solely beneficial to Him.

What if it wasn’t for you and it was just for God?

Would you be less likely to make a sacrifice if forgiveness wasn’t for you? While we taught on forgiveness this month for Wives in Waiting, I thought about my motivation to forgive and if I had genuinely forgiven those I thought had wronged me. Was selfishness at the core of my obedience or was I truly pursuing the likeness of Christ? As I replayed the way I released myself from the bitterness, heartache, and anger that I held in my heart I realized that I didn’t forgive for God….I forgave for me! And while you may be thinking “What’s so wrong with that?” that causes a big problem. If protecting me was my motivation, I still have not addressed the root of the issue. I couldn’t forgive because I was in the way; I chose to release myself because I was still the focus.

You see, when self becomes my main concern I am still drifting further away from God. I am no closer to God by just forgiving them. In order to get closer to Him, I have to let go of “me”. No relationship is successful when you are so self-centered that you can’t do anything for the other person. How can I claim to be honoring God with my actions, when my motivation was never about Him? The fruit that I was producing looked good, but was rotten to the core. It wasn’t God I was trying to please; it was my pain I was trying to ease.

Before we can truly say we’re submitted to God, we really have to check our “why’s” and not just the “what’s”. An authentic relationship is not about checking things off the list, it is really focusing on surrendering EVERYTHING to Him. In a marriage, you can’t succeed just by doing things for your husband. You serve him selflessly just because that’s what love really looks like. You have to love him enough to become one with him.

Mark 10:8 and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

My relationship with God was in danger because my heart had not been in obedience and submission to Him, it was in self-preservation. I cannot proclaim to be committed to Christ if I am not attempting to become one with Him in my decisions. I cannot claim to be committed to my husband if my decisions are not to honor the vows I made to him.

I don’t want to look up and be a stranger to God who makes good decisions. That is useless and wasted energy that could have been used to make me look more like Christ. What have you done for you that you should have done for God?

Forgive yourself for not loving Him enough to do something just for Him! That’s the least we can do!

With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott