Inside Out

The entire time we were in Argentina this season, God used different vehicles to ensure we could hear His voice. Hearing God’s voice has been instrumental to us doing a lot of self-reflecting to determine how we took the path we took to arrive at our current destination. I understand that everything happens for a reason so I have been amazed at how much God has chosen to reveal things in the way that He has. We heard a wonderful sermon last Sunday by Bishop T.D. Jakes that shed light on another area of my life that I had not examined. What happens on the outside of our lives is a mirror image of what is going on internally.

When I met my husband I was in great physical shape. I went to the gym almost every day and watched what I ate. I took pride in my physical appearance and how I carried myself. As our relationship progressed and we became engaged, I rapidly began gaining weight. I had become more relaxed with my eating habits and the gym seemed like a foreign land. We would stay up late watching movies, laughing, drinking wine, and…..eating. I noticed that my clothes became tighter and unable to fit at all, but I used that as an excuse to shop for new things. What came next broke my heart, my then-fiancée told me that I had gained a lot of weight and no longer looked like the woman he wanted to marry. Most of you are probably thinking “How dare he?” which is what I originally thought. I wanted to call of our engagement because he called me “fat”. 

Then I took a look in the mirror and saw what I had become. I had gained almost 20 pounds in our 2 year relationship, but that was the easy part. I could change my eating habits and go back to the gym to lose the weight. However, the spiritual weight I had gained had far greater impacts. I had fooled myself into believing that because we were engaged, it was okay for us to live together. That was the root of my “weight gain”. I had begun wallowing in my sin and the pounds I had gained were a physical reminder of the spiritual slothfulness I was experiencing. Our late nights meant sleeping in instead of going to church, we frequently drank alcohol excessively when we had our dinner dates, and our physical attraction grew stronger as we lived as man and wife without actually being married. My physical weight was taking a toll on my body while my spiritual weight was taking a toll on my soul.

I was offended by what he said because I thought someone who loved me should never say something like that to me. But what I didn’t realize then is that he was telling me that because he did love me. The Lord loved me too much to allow me to remain the way I was. God was speaking through him; I had begun engaging in activities that was turning me into a person that I did not want to become. This applied to my physical nature as well as my spiritual nature. What I didn’t realize is that God was telling me that I had become too comfortable and no longer cared how He saw me. I thought that because my fiancée loved me so much He would accept me just the way that I was. I applied that same attitude to my relationship with God. I was not intentionally gaining “spiritual weight” but I was also not trying to keep it off. I knew the right things to do but was not doing them because it was easier and more comfortable to live and do what I wanted. My external reflected my internal. So what was I to do?

I had to get healthy again from the inside-out. I had to commit to being a whole person: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I had to remove things from my diet: fried foods, refined sugar, decrease carb intake, and cut fat. Spiritually, I had to do the same: remove premarital sex, flee from temptation, avoid gossip, and people who didn’t push me toward Christ. But any good diet also adds things that are healthy: fruit, vegetables, and daily exercise. To make myself spiritually healthy I had to add: daily time with God, fruits of the spirit, and love. I had been in a place where I was starving and full all at the same time. I had taken all my burdens and placed the responsibility on myself when God had already told me to “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall” (Psalms 55:22 NLT). When I was honest with myself and God about why I had gotten out of shape, He was able to come in and work me out.

If you have found yourself out of shape physically, do a heart check and see if God is showing you something about your spiritual shape. Just as you can always do something about your weight, it is never too late to get in shape with God.

With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott