Decisions, Decisions

You’re on the trip of a lifetime but you have two options on how to get there. Either ride your bike blindfolded or drive your car with no functional brakes? The choice is yours!

Have you ever faced a decision where neither option was one you would have chosen for yourself but you know if you don’t make the choice, you won’t experience what you know is meant for you?

That’s what this journey to motherhood is like. It’s like a never-ending rollercoaster that you didn’t sign up to get on, but you’re stuck there anyway. Being told I was unable to conceive wasn’t because of a mystery that doctors couldn’t uncover or not being aware of what the cause was. Because we had experienced two back-to-back ectopic pregnancies that had to be surgically removed, we knew a long time ago that our only option to have a baby would be to do something like In Vitro Fertilization, surrogacy, fostering, or adoption. There was one more choice, and that’s the choice we made several years ago.

We chose to wait.

We chose to wait on the direction that God wanted us to take while also praying for, and believing, my body would be healed. Although we knew what doctors had diagnosed us with, we didn’t have peace about moving in any other direction other than right where we were. For us, there was so much hurt, resentment, anger, frustration, and unbelief that we were battling with. I couldn’t see through the fog of depression to even see where God was leading us and my husband just wanted to know that I was going to be ok. We limped along and that was progress for us.

But as the years went by and we surrendered our wounds to God, the fog began to clear and we saw what the possibilities were for us.

I had been so against any kind of reproductive treatment if we weren’t sure that it was God’s plan for us. We didn’t want to produce a counterfeit blessing like Sarah and Abraham did when they planned and executed what they thought was God’s promise for their lives (Genesis 16). They not only did the wrong thing, but their timing was wrong too. They made the wrong choice because they did what they thought was right, based on their circumstances. It seemed logical but it wasn’t divine. It was their plans, not God’s.

As our hearts healed, our ears and eyes opened to what God’s will for us was. He wasn’t trying to punish us, He wanted us to have the same heart that He has for our future child(ren). He didn’t want our choice to be an act of desperation trying to act on His behalf but a willful submission to His promptings. He wants our children to be an expression of our obedience to Him. We’re not just rejoicing now because we have options but we are ecstatic because we know we are pursuing God’s plan for us to add to our family.

Last fall, we made to decision to explore God’s options for us. We prayed, researched, had medical consultations, prayed some more, worshiped, and followed His instructions. Some of the options were still a no for us. But some of them were a yes. 

Hear me good: none of the options to conceive or grow your family are “bad”, only your intentions behind them make the difference. Seek the Lord for yourself and He will direct you.

I know some of you are anxious to know what options we’re pursuing and I want to make sure I’m transparent enough on this journey to remind you that you aren’t alone. I want to be a resource if these are some of the options God has given you the grace to pursue.

The Truscotts are currently making decisions on which Reproductive Special

ist will partner with us, and God, on our IVF journey. I want to add a disclaimer to this: while we are pursuing IVF, we are still praying and believing that God will heal my physical body to be able to conceive by His supernatural power.

We’re not giving up on that, we’re just choosing to believe Him bigger!

With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott