Aborted Promises
Aborted Promises
Have you ever wondered what could have been? What should
have been? You may have gotten in the way of what was supposed to happen out of
your desire to control the outcome. You later realize that you should have just
let things run their course and everything would have turned out differently.
Your interference in the matter changed the complexion of future events and you
will never know how they could have worked themselves out.
When I was younger, I lived life like there was no tomorrow.
Almost with the mindset that there would be no repercussions to the decisions
that I was making. Most of us have the mentality that our youth is the time to
live free and with no regrets. But what we don’t realize is that there is
always a residue of where you have been. There are those things left on the
inside of you that tell the tale of your past.
They could be invisible to everyone else but you know they
are there.
When I was told that I would not be able to conceive a child
on my own, those days were immediately resurrected in my mind. My days of being
careless about what I did and who I did it with crept into my spirit but I
didn’t mention it to the doctor because I was ashamed.
I thought to myself, “You got in the way of your own
destiny”.
At the time when I wanted motherhood the most was when I
remembered the moment I laughed at it. Years before I had made a decision that
cut like a knife thinking of it that day. My promiscuous past had finally
caught with me and I had become pregnant. I wasn’t excited at the thought of
bringing a new life into the world. I was only concerned with how my life (and
body) would be destroyed. I never thought about how God had blessed me with a
miracle that I would later yearn for.
So I, again, opened my legs and allowed someone to ruin my
virtue! I did something I never thought I could do.
I had an ABORTION! I took a life that never had a chance to
live.
I thought I knew what I was doing but I was not even aware
of the future I was setting myself up for. So, when the doctor gave me the
prognosis I immediately felt that I was getting what I deserved. I took a life
and took advantage of my ability to conceive so it was only right for God to
take that away from me, I thought. Although it hurt me to think about it, I
came to terms with what would never be.
But then I heard a whisper from God: But He was wounded
for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The
chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we
are healed (Isaiah 53:5 NKJV). I no longer had to concern myself with the
reciprocity that I thought I was experiencing. When God allowed His Son, Jesus,
to be murdered He already had everything I would do in mind. Even my abortion.
That was the reason His side was pierced. My decision was the cause of His
death. God loved me enough to let His Son be punished in my place.
Although I aborted a promise from God, His mercy is
everlasting and He will not withhold any good thing from us. When I married my
husband he already had a beautiful daughter that has allowed me to be a part of
her life. I stole motherhood away from myself in the past but God had me in my
mind when he gave me my future. Wrapped up in the love I have for my husband is
the unspeakable joy I receive from our daughter. She was ready-made, just for
me. God’s new promise includes me giving birth to a child but I cannot ignore
that He has already given me more than I deserve in my husband’s seed.
With All My Love, Mrs. Truscott
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