Love AND War?

 

 



In a marriage, both husband and wife have to determine what works best in their union. God sets the foundation for all marriages but application seems to have become cloudy. We interpret things the way we want and most of the time we aren’t happy with the result. When you do your own thing, don’t expect for God to give you His blessing.

Lots of people want to get married but not so many want to play by the rules of marriage. When our husbands make us mad, we want to roll our necks or give them the silent treatment. Sometimes we may even withhold sex as a “punishment” for their wrongdoing but none of those responses come from the rule book (the Bible).

1 Corinthians 7:4-7 ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

All is not fair in love and war!

 

Some things create more problems than they solve. Before you start dishing things out make sure you can take them. A lot of times in marriage we forget that our job is love, honor, and protect one another. Of course you will make mistakes but never let your spouse become your enemy across the lines. You should be in the trenches together, on the same side…doing everything to avoid wounding one another. Being teammates should be more important than proving a point or punishing our mate.

We don’t understand that what God gave us in our spouses is just Him loaning them to us. If we can’t go all in, then we shouldn’t go at all. There are too many of us PREYING on our spouses instead of PRAYING for them. We attack them instead of supporting them, lashing out in anger instead of being patient in love. The war is not between you and your spouse; you have a common enemy that is trying to destroy your marriage. Learn how to fight your enemy instead of the person you should be sleeping next to every night.

Will it be easy? No! Is it worth it? That’s for you to decide. If you’re in a marriage with someone you only fight WITH and not fight FOR, you need to evaluate how you got there. There are lots of us wreaking havoc in our homes because we never wanted to be with our spouse in the first place. God tells us that one of His greatest commandments is to love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). We miss out on the love part when we get angry but that is when love is most needed.

Before you start making your own rules be sure you understand the foundation. If we were to really examine what it takes to stay married, we would be a lot more careful before we make our choices. The rules tell us that we must honor the covenant we make to God and that includes loving our spouses as we love ourselves.

Some things should be off limits when dealing with your spouse. Love keeps no record of wrong. Be careful of what you say and do in times of anger. Just because the feeling has gone away doesn’t mean their wound has healed. Put your surrender flag up and pursue peace in your house, that is what's worth it!



With All My Love, Mrs. Truscott