Forgiveness Is Not Fair

Some people say “the best things in life are free” but I beg to differ. I live by the motto that “you get what you pay for” but even that is not entirely accurate. Sometimes, you get what someone else pays for. But all in all, nothing in this life is free. Someone paid the price for you to have access to the things you view as “free”. As an African American, there are certain privileges I now have because my ancestors paid the price for me to have them. As a women, there were people fighting long before I was born so that I could live in a world that was as equal as possible. So, what seems free to me actually came out a cost to someone else. When I think about this, I realize how unfair it is for someone else to have to pay the costs for what I get the benefits from without ever having to lift a finger.

Forgiveness is one of those things that someone pays the price for while someone else reaps the benefits. This may seem confusing so let me explain. I have been hurt in the past by people I cared about. My laundry list of offenders was extremely long before the Lord convicted me about this matter. Some of these people never knew they wronged me while some were well aware of the pain I felt they caused me. I was able to continue to talk and laugh with them, all the while I was holding contempt and malice in my heart. Some of these wrongs dated into my childhood while others were fresh wounds. I was telling people how much I loved God although I was still holding grudges against these people. I felt that I had done my Christian duty by being nice to them, even though my heart was hard toward them. To the naked eye, no one would have known the difference but upon careful observation the subtleties could have been noticed. The cutting of my eyes at the mention of the person or situation, the careless jokes I made about the person, or the uncontrollable facial expressions that would jet across my face. Then God smacked me across the face as I nonchalantly found myself referencing a particular person: “She can’t possibly know God based on how she is treating me”. I was caught red-handed.

I was able to easily identify the behaviors of this other individual because I possessed the same trait. When I began my journey of drawing closer to God, I earnestly asked Him to allow me to forgive EVERYONE who I felt had sinned against me and to forgive me for not forgiving them before. It sounds simple because it was! God opened my eyes and I gave Him permission to cleans an area of my life that had gone untouched for so long. I did not realize that I had placed my soul in a prison of unforgiveness and I was the warden. The people I forgave were recipients of something I had been paying the price for for a very long time. They were not incarcerated, I was and I had no idea. My heart was being hard, I had a disconnect with God because of my unforgiveness. The truth of the matter was that I struggled to forgive others because I also struggled to forgive myself for things I had done that caused God pain as well as caused people pain. I am have never been perfect and never will be, so I am bound to hurt someone along the way. I had such a tight grip on myself that I was unable to see how that affected my other relationships. I thought it was unfair to let them off the hook so “easily” because I had never let myself off the hook for the wrongs I committed.

But I was reminded of the cross. God sent His Son to pay the ultimate price so we could receive the best gift of all: grace. Jesus never sinned against anyone, but we are able to freely receive freedom and liberation because of the price He paid. Knowing this, how dare I withhold forgiveness for myself and others when there was such a large price paid for mine. I have done a lot of wrong in my life but God saw fit to forgive me when I asked for it and since I am no better than anyone else, I have a duty to treat them the same way. However, now I do not wait until I am asked. I am quick to forgive because I know the impact it will have on me and my relationship with God if I do not. That may seem unfair that my relationship with God would be damaged based on my ability to forgive someone who has done something to me, but I still like those odds. I would rather have the choice to forgive than wait on someone else to forgive me.

Forgiveness is not free, forgiveness is not fair, but forgiveness is FREEING. It’s when prisoners are released based on good behavior. It’s not fair because the crime was committed but the warden saw fit that the prisoner had been there long enough. That is what we receive from God on a daily basis, He forgives us before we even ask. Some of you may be thinking “it’s not that easy, you don’t know what they did to me”. You’re right, I don’t know what they have done to you but I also don’t know what you have done. You see, the great part about forgiveness is that once you dish it out you can receive it. So, have a forgiveness party and see how much your life changes!

With All My Love,
Mrs. Truscott